Two Crocodiles on a Boat

Having finished the 36-month "3 Boxes" tapes, we are now recording "36-month Self Control". They are awesome. The setup is as follows: parent and child walk into a bland random standard-issue government room, decorated in early nineties style with ugly, rough carpet and light-toned wall with dark-toned paneling. The interviewer follows them in and tells the parent to sit down, take a load off and fill out these beurocratic forms. This is a government study, after all. What are the forms? I don't know. Maybe they're for declaring bankruptcy, or requesting to change their legal name to "Chuck(le)". Whatever. It seems to be a ploy to keep the parent occupied so as not to interrupt the awesome.

The interviewer then tells the child, "woo, chile, has I got a special toy for you! Why don't you jes' sit yoself down over yonder whiles I gets it out 'a this here shoe-bag." The child fidgets, or runs back to the parent, or sits down obediently, or whatever. This part is up to the child. Once the child is sitting, though, the same awesome thing happens each time: the interview pulls out the toy and says, "Look at my special toy! It's two crocodiles on a boat! Hot damn!"

Except for the "hot damn" part. That part is merely implied.

It's a small plastic boat on wheels with a blue crocodile steering and a green crocodile behind him. The interviewer pulls the green crocodile, which is attached to a string, and then the string pulls the crocodile back up onto the boat so it looks like it's climbing and then wheeeeeeeeeeeee! the boat jives its merry way across the room over to the child. "Now your turn!"

The children usually take a good minute to figure out the mechanics of the green crocodile, and how it has to be pulled back in the center like an arrow from a bow, and how the boat has to be on the ground to go anywhere, but then the boat jives on over to the interviewer. They trade the boat one more time, and then comes the self-control part. The interviewer says, "gee, I sure am glad you liked my toy, but hey guys, right now I have some work to finish up. Don't touch my toy until I'm done, okay?" The interviewer then places the two crocodiles on a boat inches from the child, and then sits down to fill out some more random beurocratic forms, perhaps filing taxes or sueing Philip Seymour Hoffman for indecent exposure. Anyway, it takes about three minutes to fill out these particular forms, and meanwhile the camera focuses on the child. Some immediately lean over and put the tips of their fingers to the two crocodiles on a boat. Some just pull the green crocodile and start 'er up. Some run over to their mother and stand under her dress. Some sit and wait patiently for a few minutes, then begin soundlessly crying at the immensity of the universe. That part is up to the child.

Once the interviewer is done applying for permisison to build a really big tree house, or teach English to turnips, or wear chaps without pants underneath them in polite company, the interviewer and the child end the clip happily by playing with the two crocodiles on a boat and eating ice cream and pizza and singing Belle and Sebastian.