My mind is currently occupied with Latin, French, German, Kant, Newton, Proust and Rosenzweig. It used to be occupied with music. I have been listening of late mainly to The Basement Tapes, Louder Than Bombs, and Yo La Tengo, and these only infrequently. It helped quite a bit to have music playing while at the computer, and this is now impossible. That is why my writing has been uninteresting for the last several weeks, in case you were wondering.

Right now, even, writing this rather trivial post, I am aware of how uninteresting it is. There is no excitement, no content bursting to get out. I am doing it mainly to keep up appearances.

I would like to leave. Not in any real sense: I have already decided rather firmly to graduate next year. Yet although I am, for the first time, starting to enjoy it here, I cannot help but wait impatiently for college to end. I have never experienced so distinctly the constant engagement of my subconscious mind on school work, reading, philosophy, call it what you will, to the extent that I have nothing to say when I try to write. It's a dismal feeling, even though most of the time I'm pretty pleased and excited. It is strange to be truly excited about academic material. I feel as if I'm writing like a high school student here, but there's no other way to say it. I allot almost no time to "relaxing", a term I scorn, and yet I rarely feel stressed. When I wake up, I learn twenty Latin words before showering. Then I exercise and go to class. Every class has become interesting, and I've surprised myself by talking of my own will. When I get back to my room, I usually do my seminar reading (I've actually started trying to read them at least twice) before dinner.

I'm not sure what I'm saying in this post. I'm not sure why I'm writing at all. However, since this is the only thing that comes to mind to write about right now, I am. At any rate, it's starting to make sense to me why so few people do anything special while going to this school, although I still wonder why so few alumni do anything, either. I feel like I'm cheating myself somehow by not developing my writing, but there's not much I can do, and when I consider it, it seems perfectly reasonable to wait until I've finished this education. Whatever it's doing, however it's doing it, I am definitely beginning to learn something of real value here.

Oh, and Scott, that post was awesome, and I've often felt the same way, but didn't know how to express it. You're really getting at something.