The river has gone mad and is donning its lapels for the new look of the century. The river is dressed in spats and an attractive cotton tie. The river has a date with pop culture and is taking pop culture to a concert in a conglomerate bookstore to see how the other half lives. The river is grinning and its hair is slicked back with aromic oils. The river has teeth like a picket fence. The river looks back at you from your computer screen. The river only wants your money. The river has hit upon the massive fashion statement of draping its soul on the outside of its body to show the world what it isn't feeling. Tout le monde aime le fleuve. Jeder liebt den Fluss. Tutto ama il flume. The river is the newest dance just sprung up at the downtown clubs, and you better know it. The river will not let you drown; the river does not want you to escape. You might as well stay on the shore.