Thursday, September 27, 2012

Gruesome history

I am slowly committing fly genocide in my apartment. I hope this isn't setting me up for cosmic retribution, but there can be no end to the campaign. The homeland must be secured.

Containment was impossible given the flies' organic flight technology. Attempts to relocate the fly population failed when it proved difficult to force sufficient numbers out the open window. Escalation soon ensued: the flies continued breeding, and acid traps were placed on counter surfaces in retribution. No adult flies were captured, however, and more kept appearing. Human forces turned to mobile artillery, but were always outmaneuvered. In the end, chemical weapons were deployed in the form of an aerosol spray. Bodies are still being discovered, lying prone wherever the flies wings ceased to operate effectively. The population has been catastrophically reduced, but scattered flies remain. God help us all.

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