For the last two days I've been driving around in a behemoth of a vehicle, a Jeep Commander. It looks like a miniature hummer of death. I'd never driven an SUV before; it feels compromising. I keep wondering what other drivers think of me, and I don't usually think that way. Do they think I should drive more aggressively because I'm in such a big vehicle? Are they apprehensive of me, or do they respect me more than they did when I was driving my little Corolla? Do the pedestrians get that sinking sensation I always get when I'm walking an SUV passes me?

And Jesus, it's called a Commander. Did I mention that already? As the name says, I'm not doing the commanding; I'm just following orders.

I guess you're wondering why I'm being commanded. When I went on Wednesday night to get my new Corolla, I took it for a test drive and found that the light on the instrument panel that normally turns on with the headlights was dark. I couldn't adjust it with the dial to the left of the steering wheel, which seemed instead to be linked to the overhead light. The Carmax agent Anne and I had (a very nice, affable and funny young UNM student named Andrew) said that they would fix it for us, free of cost, but they needed to send it to a Toyota dealer to do the work. In the meantime, they would give me a loaner. As I was signing paperwork, a service employee told me that the loaner they were giving us "is a bit bigger than the car you got." Yes indeed.

It's also a bit bigger than African elephants, cruise ships, major rock formations, and I'm pretty sure the moon. I'll have it until Monday, apparently, because that's when Carmax expects the necessary part to come in. Until then, I feel like a pretty big jerk, driving myself around in my ocean liner.