Laura's dogs are bad dogs. I tell them often, such as when I come into the house and they jump on me and bark bark bark bark bark bark jump bark and then start chasing each other and barking and whining. I tell them in the morning when they wake me up three times even after Anne has fed them and I tell them they're bad, because they're bad. I don't like the dogs. I want to set them on fire for the heat. Also, they ate my slipper, and Anne's boot, and a box of cookies, two boxes of cereal, a bag of cashews, a box of pizza with green chile and pepper (and the packets of straight hot pepper, and the container of marinara sauce), and the fourth season of Buffy. I tell them they're bad.

Also, I don't like them because they are loud and big and ugly and they smell bad and I don't like them. Well, they're sort of cute, they're just also bad. Especially Rosie and Charlie, they are extra bad. Plus, too, also, they hump each other a lot.