A message to Blake, who does not, as far as I know, read my blog:

You shouldn't have told my cat that you wanted to kick him. He hasn't left the spot by the porch door where you drunkenly brayed at him that you hated him, and swung your leg unsuccessfully in his direction. You thought he was an ordinary cat, I'm sure. If he were an ordinary cat, no harm would have been done. But this was Mulder you insulted. He has been fuming for more than a day now. He's collected some dead bugs and formed them into a makeshift Blake pincushion, and he's been swiping at it and muttering, "Who do you think you are, kick at Mulder, don't even live here, I will eat you, meat, meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat! You goddamn puny bastard, you, I am bigger than you, I am huge, and you are going down, kill kill kill kill" etc.

Well, Blake, you've made my life pretty miserable. I can't sleep now because I hear Mulder. You've gotten the Japanese all in a tizzy. They're expecting an attack, and they didn't send the last check. They seem to think we've let Mulder out, and based on the chatter they're picking up, I can't blame them. You had better come back here and apologize. Japan has been investigating uranium enrichment, and we all know how dedicated the Japanese can be once they have a project.